OOC Anubis and the Emo Waffles
by stay.traught.i'm.deactivated
Summary: As you can probably tell, Anubis is out of character. This is a crack fic, and I hope you guys enjoy it! I had fun writing it, and I hope you guys have fun reading it! And maybe reviewing it as well? ;D


**Annie and the Emo Waffles**

This is a pure dialogue fic between OOC Anubis and me. I am going to be questioning, well more like harassing, him about many, many things. Without his permission of course! Like his 'crush' on a certain Sadie Kane. And his emo-ness. I'm basically gonna annoy the Hades out of him. :D This is a crack fic; he is supposed to be OOC. I hope you guys enjoy this!

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><p>"Do you know why you are here, Anubis?"<p>

"Because some big dudes in robes kidnapped me?"

"Wrong!"

"Because I am chained to this chair?"

"Ugh, how thick are you?"

"Because my hands are tied behind this chair?"

"Stop being so technical! Do you want me to squirt you with water?"

"Then why am I here?"

"Weeeell…"

"I don't think I like where this is going."

"You won't!"

"Oh gods."

"Oh gods, yea. This is going to be fun."

"When you say that, I feel like I should be scared."

"You should."

"You're scaring me, Arty."

"Bad Doggy! Don't call me Arty!"

"And you had to squirt me for that?"

"Don't question the author!"

"STOP SQUIRTING ME!"

"Nope."

"I will kill you!"

"Bad emo!"

"STOP WITH THE SQUIRTING!"

"It's a free country."

"Grrrr."

"Quiet, doggy!"

"Tell me why I'm here!"

"Grouchy emo."

"What did you call me?"

"Nooooothing."

"You know you can't ever look innocent."

"I'm know! It's a gift."

"Tell. Me. Why. I'm. Here!"

"You're here for my torturing pleasure, Mister Grouchy Emo."

"Oh gods. GET ME OUTTA HERE! I AM GOING TO KILL MY SELF IF I HAVE TO STAY ANY LONGER!"

"Oh, so you _are_ emo."

"I never said that."

"You _hinted_ at it. You know, with your killing comments and all."

"Gee, I wonder why I'm the god of death, then?"

"Cuz you're emo. Duh."

"It was a rhetorical question."

"Do not question the author!"

"Does that spray bottle _ever_ run out of water?"

"Nope!"

"Someone help me! ANYONE!"

"The gods aren't gonna help you. They agreed to this!"

"I will KILL them!"

"Stop being so emo!"

"I'm not emo!"

"Sure. And I'm not a daughter of Neptune."

"Who's Neptune?"

"You're emo."

"NO I'M NOT!"

"Take a chill pill, emo."

"Grrrr."

"Bad emo dog!"

"Just tell me why I'm here."

"What's the magic word?"

"Please?"

"It's actually waffle, but that's good enough."

"Just answer my question."

"….."

"Waffle?"

"Okay! I'm here to interrogate you!"

"AH! GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

"Struggling will get you nowhere."

"Grrr."

"You growl way too much, dude."

"…."

"Interrogation time!"

"Oh gods."

"Heeheehe. So….."

"I don't like where this is going."

"Good. What do you think of Sadie Kane?"

"…"

"You are blushing, Emo Doggy!"

"No I'm not!"

"The emo is in denial!"

"….."

"Is that glare supposed to scare me?"

"Grrr."

"Is that the only word you know?"

"Grrr."

"You know a word worth learning?"

"….."

"Waffle!"

"STOP. WITH. THE. WAFFLES!"

"Waffle, waffle, waffle, waffle, waffle, WAFFLE!"

"AH!"

"I'll stop if you answer the question."

"She is….. British."

"No duh, Sherlock. And British accents are cool."

"Well you asked me what I thought of her."

"Be more specific!"

"She is a girl."

"I'ma smack you, so be more specific."

"She likes to blow stuff up."

"So do I."

"… Should I be worried about my life at the moment?"

"You _are_ emo. What do you think?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You'll find out soon enough, Annie."

"…."

"Did I scare you into silence with my totally awesome AVPM reference?"

"…"

"Answer me doggy!"

"STOP SQUIRTING ME!"

"Hm…."

"So you'll stop?"

"Let me think….."

"Please?"

"..."

" I mean, waffle?"

"Well if you put it that way…. No."

"Grrr."

"Learn a new word, Annie!"

"Stop calling me Annie."

"Whatever, Lord emo."

"When can I leave?"

"I am not done with you yet!"

"Fine. Just ask the stupid questions and let me out."

"By the way…"

"What?"

"If you lose your sanity, it's so not my fault."

"What the?"

"I said 'if', you know."

"AH! Someone cut my hands off! I don't care! Just GET. Me. Outta. Here!"

"Yup. Definitely emo."

"I DON'T WANNA BE HERE!"

"Are you going to cut yourself free, emo?"

"….."

"I think it is impossible to be scared of someone named Annie."

"If you let me out, I'll give you some waffles."

"I DON'T WANT YOUR EMO WAFFLES!"

"…."

"Really. Emo waffles taste sad."

"….."

"Want proof of that?"

"Ow! Why'd you throw a waffle at me?"

"It's an _emo_ waffle, Annie. Sheesh."

"Get it away! It smells emo!"

"You smell emo."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BOYFRIEND?"

"Oh thank goodness! Save me, Lady Kane!"

"AH! EMO COUPLE!"

"You shut up about my boyfriend!"

"Thanks, Lady Kane."

"Gah! Eat some emo waffles!"

"Ow! Those bloody hurt!"

"I know, right?"

"Go snog in the emo corner."

"You bloody shut up!"

"She was torturing me."

"Yes I was! Half his sanity is most likely gone. The other half is probably permanently damaged."

"Poor Anubis. Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine."

"Now you're a lying emo!"

"Leave him alone!"

"Ignore her. Let's go to Brooklyn House."

"I'm sure Sadie wants to snog, I meant see, Walt."

"Shut up!"

"What's this about a Walt?"

"She's in denial."

"Am not! Come on Anubis. To Brooklyn House!"

"Okay!"

"Aw, they left. Wait! I have an idea!"

"Thanks goodness we are away from that crazy person."

"Yup. So who is this Walt?

"Ding dong!"

"I'll get it, Anubis."

"Okay."

"I have a delivery for a Sadie Kane and Anubis."

"I'm Sadie and my boyfriend is inside."

"Who is it Sadie?"

"Here you go, ma'am. Enjoy."

"It was some delivery girl. She looked awful familiar….."

"What's in the box?"

"This is going to be good."

"What the heck?"

"NO!"

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Who could have sent these?"

"I have a feeling I know who it is."

"YOU"LL NEVER CATCH ME!"

"Her. It was her that sent it!"

"I hate it!"

"GOOD!"

"GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM!"

"I would listen to her if I were you!"

"BUT I'M NOT AN EMO DOGGY!"

"Just throw them away. We don't need them."

"Don't ever send us emo waffles again!"

"TOO BAD, ANNIE!"

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><p><strong>Read, Rock, and Review<strong>

**Artemis S. Malfoy**


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